Due to my severe lack of creativity at the moment, Danny Madden has so graciously written a piece for the blog. While he thinks it's Nobel worthy, it will at least give you a little giggle as you sip your coffee this morning. Enjoy!
Why Must You Mock Me, Shell Shaped Soap?
by Danny Madden ("Blogger to the Stars")
In the year 2010, one would think that people would be courteous enough to not cause an internal struggle in the most private of rooms. Looking down though, I find myself asking that question that always strikes fear and sometimes anger inside me. “Why do you make me choose between my cleanliness and your sense of 1980’s fashion?” I can tell by looking, that obviously nobody has used this masterpiece of lye, fatty acids, and various scents. In that same glance however, I notice you offer nothing else. Having used this mythical crustacean shape to clean my hands once before, I know what a mess this will result in. Using these little gems once turns a beautiful shell into a barnacle laden disaster. I also know that they never smell good. Since when is hand soap supposed to smell like a mixture of Elmer’s Glue and dirt?
Lets pretend like this piece of soap isn’t a slap in the face, and let’s talk about what you were thinking when you bought it. I can see you, in the store, looking at hand soap and thinking not out loud-but with your lips mouthing the words, “What makes the least amount of sense to buy…” That’s right. Choose something that really lets people know how fancy you are. Choose something that until now, you have only seen at your great aunt’s house. Choose something that everyone will judge you for, yet never mention to you.
Now, I want to know if you bought that hand towel with the matching shell embroidery before you bought the soap or as a compliment to the soap. Either way, you are wrong. If you just happened upon this identical matching soap after purchasing your bath towel set, you probably shouldn’t have purchased that set. However, if you purchased the soap and then found the towel to match months later, you should slap yourself three times. Once for buying the soap, once for buying the towel, and once more for touching things that other people may touch after you didn’t wash your hands in the bathroom.
There are many bath soap options out there that are sure to match the interior of any guest bathroom. I suggest choosing one that people will actually use.
Katie here again!
On the note of guest soap, Apartment Therapy put together a list of hand soaps - here
- that are sure to impress any guest, and won't have them questioning your poor choice in shell shaped soap.
Happy weekend kids.