Back by popular demand (not by an audience, but by Danny), Danny Madden is baaaack. He thought long and hard on his post, so I hope you thoroughly enjoy it. If not, Danny will personally come place this rug in your home as punishment.
Ode to an Area Rug
by Danny Madden
There are many steps leading into adulthood; joining the workforce, getting married, having kids etc. Some people are naturals at these steps, and some people are named Danny. I have accomplished one of the three. The way I look at it, I needed to do something to give my life a little pizazz. Online dating you ask? No, I say. I decided to make a purchase that will better my life and the lives of those around me. I will purchased an area rug. While purchasing an area rug you have to weigh in many options.
An area rug is defined as a rug that only covers part of the floor. I figured this was perfect for me as I have only covered part of growing up. One thing I noticed quickly is that no matter what area rug store you go into, they are in liquidation and everything is 70%-85% off. These are the same stores that have been in liquidation for the past 15 years and they all smell like curry. I didn't know to go with the simple Asian motif or with the cubism design, but I knew I had to make my life decision soon.
- What will this rug say about me?
- Will my life change because of this rug?
- Will this rug match my living room?
- What the hell is an area rug?
I went with this
It says I'm bold.
It says I'm brave.
It says I'm confident.
It says I'm king.
It says I'm caring.
It says I'm secure.
It says I'm tasteful.
It says I'm adventurous.
It says I'm well traveled.
But most of all it says, “ Stop yawning in my face, your breath smells like water buffalo carcass.”
It feels good to be growing up.